Dare the risk

To Laugh is to risk appearing the fool...
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach for another is to risk involvement...
To expose your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss...
To love is to risk not to be loved in return...
To live is to risk dying.....
To believe is to risk failure....
Only a person who risks...IS FREE....

author unknown

A Decade and One

It's Rivers birthday!!!!
11 years ago.... I had the most wonderful experience of my life.... Giving birth to a 7.7 lbs. bouncing baby boy.... Yup he was our little prince.. Everyone in the family loved him from the moment he was born...Why the name...River Strauss? Well Mapi and I both loved River Phoenix that time :) and Strauss for Levi's Strauss our official maong :) His Nangnang Mapi gave him that nickname "ILOG" ...since he's real name is River and Ilog sounds like irog(term of endearment )thats why we still call him by that nickname up to now....River is a very precious child... He would always make us smile by his little antics...at aged 2 he learned to tinker with the computer(talino nyan grade 1 or 2 best in computer !!!)...memorized funny tv commercials:)..dances like nobody is watching:)(aserehe-ha!!!:),storytells like an old man :)Hay naku!!!I could go on and on (heheheh..obvious na stage mom!!)But I would like to stop muna and thank the people who showered my only son with love and affection.... to Nangnang Mapifor your unconditional love & concern (miss you so much)...for Tababa for your love and understanding(even if he's medyo alaskador!!)... to teacher Nev together with tito jay & kylie for all the thoughtful things you do(preparing meals & teaching stuffs:)... for Duydoy for always being his naynay and for the numeruous times you let him share your bed..:)to future tito hans for all the gifts and pag -aalaga!!! Mabalos dear tugangs!!!For my mom ...for being a great lola... thank you for all the love...you are the world's best lola... and pinaka-pretty pa !!!For Pids' mom..chelsean & christian thank you for your love:)to all my friends..esp.tito pogi(MARK)....tito paul... tita babziee...tita allin... tita weng...tita annie..ninang joy and ninang lourie I will never forget your kindness and affection for Ilog!!! Thanks:)And most of all ... Thank you to My DAD!!! My Ilog's look-a-like.. he's partner in crime... his kakampi...his walking buddy...his taga-suklay...and his no.1 fan!!! DAD thanks!!! Words will never be enough to show you how grateful I am to have you as my sons' dear LOLO BEN!!!He will forever treasure the first 10 years of his life... because those were the times spent with you!!!Dad it's Ilogs birthday and I know nag papa-inom ka na dyan sa heaven(heheheh)We miss you and we love you!!! And to Our Dear God... for giving us all this people ...who shared so many goodtimes with my son and will continue to enjoy great moments pa... Thanks po!!! At kay Pids...na napakabuting Dad ni Ilog ... Sobrang salamat sa pagiging napakabait mong daddy at ka buddy ng ating munting prinsipe!!!
We love you River..Happy birthday!!!

mom & dad
Son Before you were conceived… We wanted you… Before you were born..We loved you… An hour before you came out.. I would die for you… HAPPY 11TH B-day River
Lovin'you
Mom

My Dads Sinangag:)

Today is Good Friday... in a few hours..The traditional re-enactments of Christs' last days will start... then the procession will follow...hhhhmmmmmmnnnn..I remember when I was still a kid..we would always join the procession...even if it means super long walks...with occassional spills of melted candle in our hand ...hehehhe (ouch!!)Yup!!!We're always there... and everytime we go back home...
a familiar smile greets us...Our Dads' :)...together with that delicious smell of a freshly cooked sinangag meal!!! Yup ..our official good friday meal !!! It's so delicious you don't need anything else to go with it:)hehehhe!!!This is our first Holy week without him..and I can't help but remember the usual preparations of our good ol'sinangag ala BEN:)and the little things like...he's gentle wave of good-bye when we're about to leave for the procession..he's smile when we get home ...his stories...his voice...his presence... Dad we miss you so much!!! Thank you for all the good memories... thank you for loving us...
thank you for preparing things for us...thank you for being a great dad!!! Didn't know you'd leave us so soon.... :( But I know that you're happy in heaven now... maybe preparing that delicious meal again...for lola..lolo and your kuyas up there...
WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU DAD !!!We love you so much!!!!

meet the real river....

This is River Strauss Alamo Jacob...my son :) a very charming little boy who always makes me feel special.... I am so blessed to have him...and in less than a week he's turnin' 11.....yup... a decade and one...so for you baby...ADVANCE HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
and I love you so much...

love..
Mom

one of my favorite songs.....

I AM WOMAN
Helen Reddy

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

FADE
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

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Missed opportunity:(

Was suppose to meet my sister in Cebu yesterday....
In my mind I was planning a vacation with my mom and my son...
probably another sister in tow..
a perfect opportunity to make my mom and my sister happy...
but it didn't happen... I felt bad:(
I was really hoping to spend some time with my sister... I missed her so much...
And being out there on her own.... struggling with the everyday hassles of life...I really wanted to see her smile..I really felt so down yesterday....If only
I had enough money to bring my mom and my son,,,I know that somehow I could make them all happy....(even for a few days) well... thats life!!!
It s#cks!!! and I have to do something about it.... I have to turn things around....I have to work hard .....Things like this makes me more inspired...???challenged..???hopeful..?? oh heck!!! whatever term that is...
What I truly want is to make my family smile again....
Without our dad I know things will always be difficult ....
But striving to make things work again....be complete... be hopeful of the future...
I know somehow I CAN MAKE IT.....
and these missed opportunities??!!!!
Ahhhhh.... it will never happen again....:)

I miss my dad....

It's been more than 5 months almost half a year since my dad passed away and i miss him terribly...I cannot seem to get over the fact that I can never hug him again.. or make mano(our traditional way of showing respect).. I miss his hearty laughter from watching noontime tv shows.. his smile when he see's my son enter the room...His gentle wave of goodbye when we go out...his never ending stories about his childhood life.... oh!!!! I miss my dad.... Our regular 3 pm coffee break.... our small talks... our never ending discussions about..life... politics... love for family....love for country... and especially for God... Ahhhh!!! I truly miss my source of direction...our families mainman!!!Our lifelong hero.... Our Dad:)
Dad... Hope you're always happy watching over us.... we love you so much!!!!

At 30.....

Hello... had a great time talking to my best buddies last night.... You see.... I have been so lucky to have my two bestfriends in almost all the stages of my 30 years in existence.. they have seen me in my ups...downs.. and in betweens:) and lucky for me they are still my bestfriends...
So what did we talked about??We talked about Life!!! Things that we felt important at the moment.... and we really laughed..... we enjoyed each others company :) You know that certain feeling of comfort and happiness when you're with people that knows you inside out....when you laugh at not so funny jokes because you're so happy inside and it doesn'y matter if the joke is really bad...you just want to laugh:) ...when you always look back at good memories that you all enjoyed one time or another... when you think of your future together as friends and smile because you know that somehow you've managed to get the best!!!Hmmmmnnnnnnn I am so lucky!!! I am so thankful for all the good things that life has to offer:)
At thirty (30) Joy had a baby,Lourie got her independence(hehehe),and ME... I have this small seed of happiness and contentment in my heart that I know will grow everyday because I have all the things that I want...great family I truly love...friends I can count on.. and my ever loving God whom I owe every little blessings that comes along my way....

GREAT START..

Today is a great start for me and my team. You see ..I always dread mondays!!!
But today is different... I woke up with so many projects lined up.. I'm in advertising and if i 'm swamped with projects that means I will have enough money on friday:) hahhaha.. collection day:)Well my ever efficient ate a.ka. personal sec. is brimming with happiness everytime she goes to my room to tell me another customer approved my proposal/signed job order/paid etc.
I really feel so blessed!!! Problems have been going in and out of my life these days but I really felt God is always with me to either help me solve things or just listen:)
Yesterday I went out with my family and staffs.... They are my teamates!!! We always help each other in goodtimes and in badtimes!! I'm so happy because I have loyal companions.. we were really happy yesterday..we played videogames,we sang songs,had an ice cream and strolled along mega mall... simple joys!!! Inspite of financial difficulties I managed to take my team out for a breathe of fresh air!!!Well it was indeed worth it beacause we really felt more recharged...
Anyways this is my first Blog!!! I was inspired by my new friend's blogpost called reflectionsbyroy... so i decided to make one myself... i'm so excited to clear my thoughts,record my blessings or just simply tell stories about things that inspired me ... so here's my first blogpost... I hope I will be more interesting next time...

Seize the day!!!!